Fighting About Finances

Are you tired of fighting about money?

My wife and I spent years trying to solve money and marriage issues. She was raised by teachers who were frugal with money. I was raised in the oil and gas business where drilling for oil was an exciting gamble. Besides that, we had totally different personalities. I’m extroverted, and she’s introverted. I talk, and she thinks. I like risk, she likes security. I like the big picture, she likes details. For 20 years we tried solving our differences. Finally, a Crown Bible Study got us on the same page, because we united around God’s Word.

Communication about finances in marriage is one of the key problems couples face. We argue and exchange hurtful words. We debate and defend ourselves – never truly listening to one another. When fears turn to anger, and bitterness festers, spouses say things they should never say. That’s why I recommend thinking before speaking to help calm emotion. Then, asking God for His peace. Rather than destroying one another with their tongues, couples should seek to understand each other’s personalities, backgrounds, and financial philosophies.

If your relationship is in trouble, humble yourself. Have either of you asked for forgiveness? That’s what we had to do. From there, we learned to pray together, affirm each other, and practice peacemaking. We went from surviving to thriving. As Paul said, “Be devoted to one another in love, honoring one another above yourselves.” (Romans 12:10)

If credit card debt is adding stress to your marriage, let Christian Credit Counselors help you. They can create a debt management plan specifically for your needs. For more information call the Crown Helpline: 800-722-1976 or visit online at crown.org/ccc.