Dear Chuck,

My elderly mother has started to want to give away items that she has collected through the years to her grandchildren. Unfortunately, the recipients are not as enamored with the cut glass bowls, serving dishes, jewelry, etc. I think it is sweet that she wants to share these meaningful gifts but afraid they will be tossed aside. Is there anything said in the Bible about passing down treasures to family members?  

Not-A-Hoarder

Dear Not-A-Hoarder,

Yes, the Bible has some guiding principles about passing down treasures to our family members and I will add some practical advice. This is a very relevant question!

Many of us accumulate things over the years that are passed down from our parents and other well-meaning relatives. There are boxes of trophies, books, collections, hobbies, and toys of our past or our children’s. Add in the boxes of paperwork from previous jobs, taxes, school, and so on. Plus, all the boxes your parents have stored in their homes.

There comes a time, for our sanity and the sake of our loved ones when we need to sell, donate, or toss items that are just taking up space. It requires an investment of time and emotions.

Marni Jameson, author of “What to Save, What to Let Go”, puts it like this:

“Parents of grown children, please sit down. I have some harsh news for you.

Your kids don’t want your stuff. Don’t take it personally. It’s not that they don’t love you. They don’t love your furniture. The china hutch, the collectible figurines, your antique map or thimble collection, the sideboard, all those family treasures may hold many precious moments for you, but for your kids, not so much.”

All you have to do is walk through an Antique Mall and see the stuff for sale. It’s sobering and sad to look at all the things people purchased, collected, or hoarded.

People are living longer, so it’s not uncommon for two generations to downsize at the same time. Many adults are in what’s referred to as, “The Sandwich Generation” – taking care of both their parents and their own children. That makes this all the more challenging.

How Can We Help Our Parents Downsize?

Many parents believe their possessions will be a blessing to their children. Sometimes they are. But, they can also be a burden. So we need to have honest, loving conversations with mom and dad where we give them time to process what we’re saying and understand that we are here to help.  

While emotional and tedious for both parties, tackling the job while they are alive can be a blessing and advantageous. You will share pieces of history and learn things you never knew about your loved ones. What a great time to document family history! Plus, it is easier to do while they can help!

Set a date and get it done – make it enjoyable as you listen to your parents tell stories about and share pieces of your history. Ask God for the strength to work with a loving, patient heart and to find joy in the process. Pray for wisdom and discernment on what to keep, sell, donate, or throw away.

Plan to set aside days or weeks to complete the job. Give it your full attention. You can recruit trustworthy siblings, cousins, or friends to make it more delightful. Make an event of it by planning fun meals or snacks each day to keep you energized. Set goals to accomplish.

Consider renting a dumpster or paying for extra trash to be hauled off. Avoid renting a storage unit unless it is absolutely necessary for a temporary period of time.

If you desire to sell valuable items, you will make more money if you aren’t rushed. Search online for marketability and then find reputable appraisers or dealers for art and jewelry.

Books can be sold online, to used bookstores or donated. Photos and old letters can be scanned and saved.

Furniture may be sold through consignment stores, eBay or Craigslist. Consider donating to museums, charities, high school/college theater departments, or churches. You can give directly to people you know and even ask them to move it for you. Giving is a way to bless others who will value the items.

What About Our Stuff?

Don’t assume your kids want it. Ask them first and honor their decision, remembering they are making their own homes based on their values and styles. Don’t guilt trip them, and remember your relationship is of far more value than your things.

Matthew 6:19-21 reminds us:

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”

Younger people are living in smaller homes or apartments. Many are minimalists and value mobility, preferring to spend their money on experiences. As a result, they don’t place sentimental value on the same things our parents and/or grandparents did.

Help for Today and Tomorrow

It is important to recognize that things will never fulfill us (or our children). Only Christ can. We should avoid accumulating possessions or going into debt for things we don’t need. We must vigilantly protect ourselves from materialism so we can become better stewards.

Keeping our eyes on Jesus while loving the older and younger generations, we should remember what is of highest value in Proverbs 3:13-15:

“Blessed are those who find wisdom, those who gain understanding, for she is more profitable than silver and yields better returns than gold. She is more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare with her.”

If you’re looking for a little daily encouragement, please accept this gift from Crown. You can receive practical principles and daily encouragement from God’s Word in the God is Faithful devotional, sent straight to your inbox to consider what God has to say about our daily life.

Originally posted on the Christian Post June 9, 2017

True financial freedom is a journey  It’s a condition of the heart and attitude, not just the condition of our finances.

It is easy to get discouraged when we fail to meet our financial goals. In fact, Satan desires to rob us of our joy on the path to true stewardship. That’s why it is important to commit ourselves to the Lord and depend on Him, no matter what we encounter along the way.

The ability to save can be challenging. It may be a new practice that requires radical lifestyle changes. Or it may be a desire that circumstances have hindered. Whatever the reason, don’t give up.

When you stumble along the way,  this is an opportunity to depend on God. Give Him access to the depths of our heart that you  have not fully surrendered. The trap of self-reliance prevents us from full dependence and recognition of His daily provision.

When life happens and demands that you deplete the savings you have worked so hard to accumulate, this may be a test of your faith, or a means of sanctification. As Hebrews 12:11 says, “For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.”

Regardless of the setbacks along the journey to financial freedom, remember: “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”

A practical step you can take towards financial freedom is improving your income.  Career Direct is an excellent tool that can help you get on the right path. God has given you unique desires as part of His creative design. Crown developed an assessment to help you understand this unique design. It will help you understand how God has woven your personality, interests, skills, and values together, and identify  the kind of job where you will mostly likely succeed.

Originally posted on the Christian Post on June 2

To learn Biblical answers to your financial questions, you can #AskChuck @AskCrown your questions by clicking here. Questions used may be lightly edited for length or clarity.

Dear Chuck,

About 9 years ago I loaned an acquaintance I met at church a substantial amount of money, with documents signed to ensure repayment. The time for repayment has come and gone. This person has since moved out of state, gotten married and has stonewalled me at every attempt to collect. He no longer responds to emails or phone calls. Would I be out of line to take him to court, or contact his family members to enlist their help in getting him to pay his debt? What steps, as a Christian, should I take now?

Unpaid

Dear Unpaid,

I am sorry for your predicament! This is a sad scenario that I hear frequently. It has brought some to the point that they trust Christians less than non-Christians.

There’s an old saying that the definition of a distant friend is a close friend who owes you money.

That’s not always true, but far too often, Christians, intent on helping others, loan money that is never repaid. In addition to losing money, the relationship suffers or is severed.

Lending is not a new principle. There is no record of a society that operated for any period of time without borrowing and lending. Remember the widow in 2 Kings 4:1? She feared her two children were going to be taken by the creditor because she could not pay a debt. She understood the dire meaning of Proverbs 22:7 (ESV) which states “The rich rules over the poor, and the borrower is the slave of the lender”.  It carried a much heavier meaning back then. People knew and witnessed the devastating effects of bondage to creditors and tried to avoid it.

Up until a century ago, the lender had almost absolute authority over a borrower. When a loan was not repaid on time, the borrower forfeited everything he owned to his lender. But today we are living in a unique period of history, where the opposite view on debt exists. The borrower can avoid repayment of nearly any indebtedness regardless of how frivolously the money was spent.

Unfortunately, many Christians naively think that other “believers” will behave in God-honoring fashion. We want to trust them. We want to believe the best in them. We want to extend grace and mercy like we ourselves have experienced from others.  But unless we are wise and discerning, there are those who will take advantage of our love and compassion, often intentionally. And, there are those who will run when they cannot repay the money they were loaned.

One of the blessings promised by God for obedience to His ways is the ability to loan, at interest and in some cases without interest, to enhance their prosperity (Deuteronomy 28:12). But when it is time to collect, there are boundaries within which we should operate, and those boundaries are narrower than those of the world.

We are not to take another Christian to court. That applies to collection of debts.

“To have lawsuits at all with one another is already a defeat for you. Why not rather suffer wrong? Why not rather be defrauded?” (1 Corinthians 6:7 ESV) Rather, we are to follow the three stop process outlined in Matthew 18: confront the sin privately, confront the sin with other witnesses and finally to confront the sin publicly, before the church, if necessary, with the goal of restoration.

The Lord also makes clear how to manage one who refuses all of these attempts to collect. “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.” (Matthew 18:15-17 ESV)

Regarding unbelievers, we must remember that we are ambassadors for Christ. According to Luke 6:30-31 “Give to everyone who begs from you, and from one who takes away your goods do not demand them back. And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.”

However, the Bible does not absolutely prohibit Christians from suing to recover that which has been taken by unbelievers. We simply must keep an eternal perspective, counting the cost of loss of less value than the preserving of the ministry of the gospel.

Collection agencies can be a resource if the means by which they collect are honoring to the Lord. Before using one, no matter how reputable, try to determine the need and situation of the borrower so as not to inflict further pain if it can be avoided. The Bible emphasizes that we should show mercy and forgiveness to others because God extended mercy to us and forgave a debt we could not pay.

Knowing that we may have to forgive financial debts, it is imperative that we, as wise stewards, know the spiritual character of the borrower. A team of advisors that interview a potential borrower can be helpful.  For “in an abundance of counselors there is safety.” (Proverbs 11:14 ESV) If you loan to those with good character, a gentle reminder regarding the debt repayment is all that should be given, if necessary.

Loaning money to someone who should not receive it deprives those who will repay and costs the lender financially and emotionally.  In many cases, we should be prepared to simply make a gift to the one in need without expecting repayment.

Finally, Unpaid, I hope your borrower has a change of heart and that he or she will respond to your attempts of contact. If not, perhaps the person’s family members will indeed assist you in repayment so the burden is turned back to the borrower and his immediate loved ones.  His dishonesty should be dealt with in a way that will bring restoration to him and glory to God.

And for anyone stuck in the cycle of credit card debt, get in touch with our partners at Christian Credit Counselors. They have a wonderful team of professional and friendly counselors who can help you consolidate your payments and lower your interest rates to help you pay off your debts while honoring God.

Want to know how to be a better leader in your company? Start with serving.

Jesus, the greatest example of servant leadership taught “Whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be slave of all. For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

The Apostle Paul told the Philippians, “Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.”

David Green, founder of Hobby Lobby, is a man committed to servant leadership. He serves the Lord by faithfully serving his customers and employees.

In a recent interview with ChristiaNet.com, Green stressed, “Focus on people more than money. Without employees and customers, you’re going nowhere.”

At Hobby Lobby, customer service starts at the top. Those in the corporate office see themselves as servants to the stores, who in turn, see themselves as servants to the customers.

Setting an example of integrity for his employees, Green knows that he can’t expect something from someone else that he’s not willing to do himself.

He doesn’t measure success by the world’s standards; but by the standards set forth in the Word of God. He explains, “All the things we do, all our behavior, should let others know that we are living by, and operating in, Biblical principles.

This is a man who truly understands James 4:10, “Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will exalt you.”

What a wonderful example of a steward, both in his finances and career! If you want to deepen your faith and become a better steward, sign up for the online MoneyLife Personal Finance study.The lessons are encouraging and practical and will help you understand what living as a steward really means.